300: Rise of an Empire (2014)

Originally Published in The Daily Nebraskan, 3/10/2014

“300: Rise of an Empire” is not quite as good as the first movie, but sequels rarely are. Also, few films have as many bloody slow-motion stabbings as this one, and the filmmakers actually worked huge, fiery explosions into a movie set in ancient times. So that’s something.

“Rise of an Empire” is half sequel and half prequel, taking place in equal parts before and after the demise of the Spartans. It details the story of Themistokles (Sullivan Stapleton), the death of King Darius and the rise of God-King Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro) from traumatized prince to the 8-foot-tall, gold decked monstrosity we remember from “300.”

Xerxes wants to rally his people and seek revenge on Themistokles, so he announces in his capital square that he will send the armies to war in Greece. What was just a kind of Persian "manifest destiny" in the first movie becomes a personal vendetta in “Rise of an Empire.” Xerxes enlists the help of his father’s naval commander, Artemisia (Eva Green), to lead an assault against the Greek peninsula. A massive naval onslaught ensues, and Themistokles must unite the city-states of Greece to combat the Persians.

 

The Greek soldiers all make rousing, full-throated speeches at each other before heading into battle, and then they get to impaling every Persian soldier they see as the blood splatters toward us — in 3D. Some will find the nearly constant action repetitive, and the undeniably melodramatic plot (a step down from the more able drama of “300”) won’t help, either. Otherwise, it’s a very fun, gratuitous spectacle with more gore and decapitations than you can shake a spear at.

The problem is, the movie lacks Zack Snyder’s sense of visual storytelling. Snyder produced “Rise of an Empire,” but he didn’t direct it. Director Noam Murro seems to think slow motion is the most effective tool in his director’s toolbox, while Snyder’s pacing and nuanced visual technique are what contributed to the success of “300.” This film takes little time to breathe, throwing out action and destruction sequences every few minutes, never stopping to watch its characters live or talk.

Possibly the first scene which is simultaneously a fight scene AND a sex scene.

It makes up for the lack of story with its abundance of gratuitous violence. Seemingly every swing of the sword, every dismemberment and every outlandish impalement is captured in slow motion. Here, it’s not as tiring as it sounds. Eva Green's character, the insanely driven Persian naval commander, personifies the violence of ancient conflicts. She beheads her enemies freely and with pleasure, doing what she wishes with the trophies. Also, some angry sex is had. Very, very angry sex.

This film is occasionally quite self-aware of its ridiculousness: the blood that squirts out of the enemies often comes right at the screen, even at implausible angles, just for the sake of jumping out at us. In another scene, a character is drowning beneath the sea and witnesses two fellow soldiers devoured by horrible sea beasts. Then, it’s revealed that he is hallucinating on a ship’s deck. At this point, we’ve already been given exploding waters and a man emerging from a magic pool coated in gold and earrings — “300” was never praised for its historical accuracy, and flirting with paranormal elements acknowledges that none of this is to be taken seriously.

How well do you think they can hear him?

That sums up “300: Rise of an Empire” fairly well. It won’t leave you wanting to kick people and shout “This is SPARTA!” when you leave the theater, but you will be talking about how that crazy chick kissed a severed head. Yeah, it was pretty sick.

SPOILERS: Everybody in the first movie died.